Man says his brother-in-law mocked his wife’s scars — and six months later the fight over “defending” her ended with his wife wanting a divorce

A Reddit poster said a family insult he framed as an attack on his wife eventually exposed something much bigger about his marriage. In a story collected by r/BestofRedditorUpdates, he wrote that his brother-in-law, who had previously borrowed money from him for surgery and healthcare, made a cruel comment about his wife’s childhood self-harm scars and told her she should cover them up because they were unpleasant. He said he exploded, publicly humiliated the man in return, and then started demanding repayment of the loan as part of the fallout.

In the first update, the poster admitted the money fight was not really about financial need. He wrote that his brother-in-law had privately apologized to his wife and claimed he could not afford to repay the loan, but the poster said he wanted to keep pressing the issue because he was “using it to get back at him” and wanted to humiliate him the way he believed his wife had been humiliated in front of the family. He also made clear that his wife did not want that. She had forgiven the insult, did not want the money pursued, and wanted the matter dropped.

That is where commenters started turning on him hard. In the same BORU thread, readers focused on the way he talked about his wife’s wishes as something soft or overly forgiving rather than something he should respect. He argued repeatedly that he had a right to go after the money because it was his, but commenters pointed out that every new attempt to escalate the fight also meant dragging his wife’s scars and the original insult back into the spotlight, even after she made it clear she wanted peace instead.

By the “final update” in September 2025, he said he had backed off publicly but still deeply resented the outcome. He wrote that he told his sister any repayment should go to his wife because he wanted nothing more to do with her or her husband, and said he never wanted to see the brother-in-law again. Even then, though, he was still writing that his wife was “too soft,” that he was angry she wanted to forgive the man, and that he feared she might keep tolerating future disrespect without telling him.

Then the much later update made clear what many commenters already suspected. Six months later, the BORU thread notes a “final final update” in March 2026 stating that his wife wanted a divorce. By that point, the comments had shifted almost entirely away from the brother-in-law’s original insult and toward the husband’s behavior, with readers calling out his anger issues, his repeated insistence on escalation, and the way he framed his wife less like a partner with agency and more like someone whose humiliation reflected on him. Several commenters argued that what began as a disgusting comment from the brother-in-law ended with the poster himself becoming the bigger problem in his marriage.

That is what made the story linger in the BORU comments. The original offense was ugly, but the longer update trail changed the center of gravity. Instead of becoming a story about a husband nobly defending his wife, it turned into a story about a man who said he was protecting her while overriding what she actually wanted, escalating conflict she wanted ended, and eventually helping wreck the marriage he claimed he was fighting to defend.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1nghblj/final_new_update_aita_for_asking_my_sister_to/