Groom Says His Mother-in-Law Took Over the Wedding — Then Kept Mocking His Family’s Home State Afterward

A groom says he has been biting his tongue since his wedding because his mother-in-law took control of the day, shut his family out of helping and now keeps making digs about the state where his family lives.

The man shared the situation in a Reddit post titled “AIO? Groom vs Mother In Law,” explaining that the tension started around the wedding itself. The original post has since been deleted by the person who posted it, but the comment thread remains available, and the groom continued answering questions in the replies.

According to the groom’s comments, he told his mother-in-law that his parents wanted to help with the wedding. His dad even reached out directly. But the groom said his mother-in-law told them no and handled the planning herself. When commenters asked why he and his wife did not stop her, he said he did not want to disappoint his wife by fighting over her hometown wedding.

That answer did not go over smoothly in the thread. Several commenters pushed back, saying the bride and groom were adults and should have controlled their own wedding if they cared that much about who helped. One commenter told him bluntly that if he and his wife accepted the money and let the mother-in-law run things, they also had to own the decisions that followed.

But the groom seemed especially bothered by how his own family was treated. In one reply, he said his parents were shut out of helping at the wedding while his mother-in-law’s friends were allowed to help. He said his family had contributed by paying for the honeymoon, but they still felt slighted when they were not allowed to take part in the wedding setup.

He also added another detail from the wedding day. While his wife was getting ready, her friend, who is a hairdresser, did hair for the bride, the mother-in-law and two of the mother-in-law’s friends. According to the groom, he was told his mother-in-law cried in front of the hairdresser because she did not like how her own hair looked. To him, that was another sign she acted like the wedding was partly her day too.

The conflict did not stop after the wedding. The groom said his mother-in-law has also been “bagging on” the state where his family lives and where he grew up, often for political reasons. He said he and his mother-in-law generally share similar beliefs, but he still finds it insulting because she brings it up even when politics are not being discussed. He also noted that she lives only about an hour away from the state she keeps criticizing, which makes the digs feel especially unnecessary to him.

Some commenters were sympathetic to that part. One person said people sometimes make politics their entire identity and forget they still have plenty in common with others. The groom replied that he was thankful she lives an hour away, so he does not have to see her constantly. He added that his work schedule gives him some room to avoid holidays if needed.

Other commenters were much less sympathetic. Several told him that he was focused on things he could not control while ignoring the part he could have controlled: setting boundaries before and during the wedding. One commenter told him that paying for your own wedding, saying no and making hard choices were all possible. Their point was that the couple let the mother-in-law’s control happen and only complained afterward.

Another commenter said the bigger issue was not the mother-in-law’s opinion of a state but the fact that the groom and his wife needed to become a united front. They suggested simple responses like changing the subject when politics come up, ending the conversation if she refuses and not letting her into the home if she shows up demanding attention after being told to stop. The groom replied that she is recently retired and can “just show up,” which made commenters push harder on the need for boundaries.

By the end of the thread, the reaction was mixed. Some people agreed his mother-in-law sounded overbearing and rude, especially if she blocked his family from helping and kept making unnecessary digs after the wedding. But many also told him the frustration was arriving late. If he and his wife wanted control of the wedding, they had to claim it before the day happened, not after resentment had already built up.

For the groom, though, the problem seems bigger than chairs, hair appointments or political comments. He feels like his family was pushed to the edge of his own wedding while his mother-in-law got to run the room. And now that the wedding is over, every little jab about where he came from feels like one more reminder that the boundary should have been set a lot sooner.