Woman Says a Man at Her Gym Left Flowers on Her Car — Then Sent a Note Saying He’d “Be Waiting”

A 21-year-old woman says a man at her gym went from staring and following her around during workouts to leaving flowers on her car and sending a note through another woman after her father had already told him she was not interested.

She explained in a Reddit post that the situation started in January, when she noticed a new man at her gym. At first, it was the kind of thing that might make someone uncomfortable but still leave room for doubt. He kept looking at her strangely. He seemed to be near her no matter where she went. She suspected he might even be filming her.

She tried to keep working out anyway.

Then she noticed another pattern. The man always seemed to arrive at the exact same time she did. He also stayed until after she left. That made it harder to believe this was just a coincidence between two people with similar gym schedules.

As the months went on, his behavior became harder to ignore. He started getting close to her face and saying things while walking by. She wore music while working out, so she could not hear exactly what he was saying. Instead of engaging, she pretended she did not realize he was talking to her.

That avoidance did not stop him.

A few weeks later, when she left the gym, she found flowers and a note sitting on her car. The note had personal information about her that she said he should not have known, especially because she had never spoken to him.

That detail scared her. It meant he knew which car was hers, and it also suggested he had learned things about her without permission. She filed a complaint with the gym.

She also had her dad speak to him.

Looking back, she said that might have been a mistake, but she was anxious and wanted the situation to stop. Her dad told the man that she came to the gym to work out and was not looking for a relationship.

That should have been clear enough.

Instead, about a week later, a different man at the gym messaged her on Instagram. She did not know him well, but he said he had seen the same guy watching her, following her around the gym, and filming her. He told her to be careful.

She showed that message to the gym staff. According to her, they told her they could only do something if the situation escalated.

After the second complaint, the man disappeared from the gym for a few days. That had not happened since January, so she started to feel a little relieved. Maybe the complaints had finally worked. Maybe her dad’s warning and the gym’s attention had made him stop.

Then a woman she had never seen before came into the gym and handed her an envelope.

Inside was a note from the man.

In the note, he wrote that he did not “pretend” to be in a relationship with her yet, so for now they could “just be friends.” He talked about meeting new people, learning a new culture, and not being alone. He wrote that he often saw her walking around sad and offered to show her the sky, ocean, and mountains.

Then he mentioned her father, writing that she could bring her dad and commenting on how rare it was to see a “complete” family with a caring father.

The note ended with him saying that if it bothered her, she could ignore it — but when she was ready, he would be waiting.

By then, the woman was trying to figure out what to do without making the situation worse. Part of her wanted to confront him and tell him directly to leave her alone, but she had read that direct confrontation can be risky in stalking situations.

She was also frustrated by the mixed reactions she had heard from others. Most people encouraged her to take it seriously, but a smaller group suggested he might just have a crush or be socially awkward.

She was not willing to bet her safety on that softer explanation.

In an update, she said her plan was to go to the gym at a different time only to show them the note and file another complaint. She hoped the envelope would count as escalation. She had been going to that same gym since she was 14 and had friends there, which made leaving feel unfair. But she also said she planned to switch gym locations and look into filing for a restraining order.

By the end, she seemed to know the situation had moved beyond an uncomfortable admirer. She had never shown interest. Her father had clearly told him she was not looking for a relationship. Another gym-goer had warned her that the man seemed to be watching and filming her. Then the man still found a way to send another message.

This was no longer only happening inside the gym. It had reached her car, her personal information, her family, and her sense of safety.

Commenters overwhelmingly told her she was not overreacting. Many said the man’s behavior sounded like stalking, especially because it appeared to be escalating from staring and following to notes, flowers, personal information, and using another person to deliver a message.

Several people urged her not to confront him directly. They said any response could feed the idea that there was some kind of relationship or ongoing connection. Commenters told her to document everything, save the notes, take photos, and avoid engaging with him.

A lot of people criticized the gym’s response. Commenters argued that a gym can set rules about filming, harassment, and member conduct, and that staff should not wait for a physical incident before taking action.

Others told her to file a police report, ask about a restraining order, and keep a diary of every incident. Some also suggested checking her car for tracking devices, making sure she was not followed home, and warning people at work or home if she thought he might try to find her elsewhere.

A few people said he might be awkward rather than dangerous, but that view was heavily pushed back on. Most commenters said the issue was not whether he intended harm in his own mind. The issue was that he ignored every signal to stop and kept escalating anyway.

The clearest advice was this: treat him like a safety concern, not a harmless crush.